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Old Apr 6th 2016, 02:07 PM
MeMyselfAndI MeMyselfAndI is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Moscow, Russia
Posts: 6,453
Default Lack of men affecting family values?

It is very interesting. I was having a conversation with this woman, a psychologist, a friend of my wife's, she came over to visit us. Talk turned to family issues in our country, the huge divorce rate, especially among those over 40, all that.

Her theory is fascinating.

You see, women make up a strong majority of Russian population, 60% or almost that. This is true in essentially all the regions and all ethnic groups.

There are many factors for this: more girls are born, consistently, than boys, year after year, for many generations now; women also outlive men by an average of 12 years, average life expectancy difference between 60 years for men and 72 for women, due to things like alcoholism, violence, and men also overwhelmingly doing all the more dangerous jobs.

Either way, ratio of women to men is almost 60 to 40 out of 100.

Now, take out 1 in 3 of the men. That is, all who have had an experience with the prison system

(There are some wretched, desperate women who are into convicts, write to them, even marry them, travel to prison camps for ceremonies, seriously... But they are only a few crazy ones, fortunately)

Also take out at least 6,000,000 known alcoholics (these are ones actually registered with police and health authorities, I believe the real number is much worse)

and over 2,000,000 drug addicts

Finally, take out another 15% or so of men who are simply too old and 17-20% who are babies and children, too young.

So, what you are left with, is a relatively small pool of desirable men for the women who reach procreation age

(That is Vladimir Epifantsev, he is an action movie star, most of us can but wish and dream to look like him He is the standard of manhood though, idol to women and object of emulation and envy for men... Anastasia there is a lucky woman indeed )

At the same time, Russian culture pressures women to marry and start families early. Like, if you are a young woman by age 23 to 25 and do not have a husband yet, not only your parents and other relatives, but your neighbours and people at work will demand to know why.... Boys are not harangued like that.

So, by that time, women start actively looking for mates. Some young women go out dressed in... incredible ways, to put it mildly, here in Moscow

hoping to attract The One, Him, today, finally...

They are scorned, especially by the older, Soviet generation. But, what are they to do?

Women have to fight for men here, not the other way around. I dare say I was and am one of those "desirable", "ideal" men (at least, my wife says so ), and I never had to go out of my way to attract her... She said so herself, in this very conversation with her friend, all I had to do, was purchase a seat on an airplane which happened to be next to hers. And she, when saw me, apparently did what all young women are taught to do when see a "desirable" man: grab him and never let go

That is also why many Russian women have pursued marriage with foreigners, though not so much anymore: http://www.themoscowtimes.com/news/a...ou/559233.html

It also explains the divorce rates. Majority of divorces here are initiated by men, and why not? With such a numerical disparity, even a less "desirable" man almost always will have "other options", if he is no longer satisfied with his wife

In some Muslim communities in Russia, polygamy is not officially legal, but commonly practised nonetheless.

Among the Slavic majority, the Orthodox Church frowns upon such behaviour, yet many men also pretty much openly maintain essentially polygamous relationships, especially those who work away from home for long periods of time

This man is a coal miner in Northern Siberia. The woman with him is not his official wife, who is somewhere in a city with the children, while he is at the mining camp. The woman is one of many who go to mining or logging compounds and serve, essentially, as surrogate wives for the men working seasonal shifts out there. They perform all the functions, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and, yes, sex too, without any legal piece of paper. In turn, they get roof, food, bed, maybe even some money to spend... There are children born of those relationships, who may ask, years later, who their father was, but their mother may not remember, as the father either left for home and his legitimate family long ago or, perhaps, was killed in one of those ever common accidents, especially in the mines, and she simply moved on to some other man

This is all a very big problem... It breaks down family structure and degrades our society as a whole...
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